Coyote in Equestria, Ch 8: Of Puzzles and Purpose
by Coyotek4
Summary: Chapter 8 in the series. And yes, there is singing. (Don't expect anything Grammy-worthy.)


_Mmmm … how long have I been out. Where am I … and why is it so cramped in here?_

[PP] **"RISE AND SHINE!"**

Pinkie Pie points her party cannon out the window of her loft above Sugar Cube Corner and fires the coyote into the air; he lands in a crumpled pile in the middle of the road. Sore all over, the coyote gets to his feet and shakes off the feelings of pain and confusion; at the same time, Rainbow Dash flies in from above.

[RD] "You must have been exhausted after that train trip; you crashed right in Pinkie's place after walking in."

 _Crashed? I fell asleep? Strange, I didn't_ _ **feel**_ _tired. What happened after I got back. Think back … met Pinkie Pie in her loft, she was reading a book, we started talking about—_

[RD] "You OK?"

"Sorry, didn't realize it was morning already." *looking up* "And as it appears that I was just blown out of a confetti cannon, it's probably best not to dwell on last night any more.

[RD] "Glad to hear it. Applejack harvested a good haul yesterday and could use some help transporting all the produce to market."

"Yeah … sure thing. Just point me in the right direction; I'm still a little woozy. And hard of hearing."

[AJ] "Greatly appreciate the help … but you struggle more than Apple Bloom when it comes to pullin' wagons."

"I'll be sure to hit the gym at some point … does Ponyville _have_ a gym?"

[AJ] "I know a pegasus who just might be able to help, if'n you want it. He works at the spa that Rarity frequents."

"Good to know." _I think._

[AJ] "Anyway, we're here. Thanks again."

Applejack and the coyote reach the market area and unhitch themselves from the wagons.

[AJ] "You think you might do better at _sellin'_ fruit versus _pullin'_ it?"

"Would _you_ buy food from a coyote you never met?"

[AJ] "Fair point. But you're not the only non-pony in town, you know."

"So far I've seen a baby dragon assistant, a married donkey couple, a zebra who lives in the woods, and a mule. To say nothing about me not being from this _world_."

[AJ] "It's not about what you _are_. It's about what you _do_. You just gotta figure out some special talent to offer the town, and you'll do fine."

"If you're referring to those … 'cutie marks' …" _that_ _ **still**_ _feels awkward to say out loud_ … "… remember that I'm not destined to be getting one."

[AJ] "You sound just like my little sister did. Why don't use just take a walk around for a bit and clear your head. From what Rainbow Dash told me, you had a long day yesterday."

"Fair point. I'll be back when you're done here. Should be easier to get the empty wagons back."

[AJ] "Don't forget, I need to pick up some construction supplies before heading back to the farm. Upkeep doesn't just happen, you know."

"You know an alicorn who possesses the ability to fix everything up by magic, right?"

Applejack gets agitated at the suggestion. "Do you _know_ how friendship works? 'Cause friendship doesn't mean askin' your friends for ev'ry little thing. Besides, we prefer gettin' stuff done the old-fashioned way, _without_ magic. It's been workin' for us ever since Granny Smith helped found this town."

"OK OK, you made your point. Didn't mean to cause an argument or anything."

[AJ] "Apology accepted. Looks like I got customers, if you'll excuse me."

Applejack begins to ply her wares as the coyote walks away. His legs carry him past the spa, and he spots Rarity and Fluttershy leaving the premises.

[Ra] "Well 'good morning' to you Coyotek. What brings you to this area?"

*sigh* "Nothing in particular. Just wandering around, taking everything in."

[Ra] "Well you seem out of sorts. Why don't you go in for a session yourself; they'll treat you right."

"Spa? Me? I'm not the 'spa' type."

[Ra] "Oh, _everypony_ can be the 'spa' type. You just have to give it a shot. I find the treatment most invigorating; it helps me seize the day; it inspires me to create."

[Fs] "It's also very relaxing."

"I dunno …"

[Ra] "Well if nothing else, it can help clear the cobwebs out of your head. Now if you'll excuse me, I have inspiration in my head and need to get designs laid out before it disappears."

[Fs] "And I've got animals waiting for me back home. Take care."

The two ponies head off, leaving the coyote alone in front of the spa.

 _Maybe a clearer mind can help me think of some way to contribute to this world. I guess it can't hurt to at least take a look … wait, Applejack mentioned that someone works here who specializes in weight training. I wonder if this place is a combo spa-gym. Maybe there just isn't much demand for gyms here._

The coyote heads into the spa and walks up to the front desk. A receptionist is there to greet him.

[rec] "Haven't seen _you_ here before. First time?"

 _Guess I'll hear_ _ **that**_ _a lot._ "Yes, it is. Um … I heard that someone here might be able to help me with weight-training."

[rec] " _Oh my_. Why I don't believe we've had _anypony_ ask for Bulk before."

 _Well how about 'anycoyote'?_

[rec] "Straight down the hall, then take a right, and it's the third door on the left. I believe he might be working in the massage parlor, but he should be done in just a bit."

The coyote follows the receptionist's directions, and finds himself in a small room with various weightlifting equipment. _Not much of a gym; guess there isn't much demand. I suppose I shouldn't expect much for a guy who works in a massage parlor. Probably some svelte pony who focuses on tone._

The door bursts open, and a large, white horse with tiny pegasus wings stands at the doorway.

[BB] "YOU WANNA LIFT WEIGHTS!?"

… _Ohdeargawd …_

"Uh … I could, uh, stand to gain some muscle …"

[BB] " **ALL RIGHT!** I'M BULK BICEPS; LET'S GET YOU SOME DUMBBELLS!"

The coyote walks slowly out of the spa, his legs trembling with each step. He collapses to the dirt road just as the CMCs stroll by.

[Sc] "Whoa, what happened to _you?_ "

"Total … body … workout …"

[AB] "Hey, it looks like Bulk Biceps got another customer!"

[SB] "He must be so thrilled."

 _I'm_ _ **sooo**_ _happy for him._

[Sc] "So what got you to see Bulk?"

"I thought I'd … clear my head …"

[AB] "By killing your _body?_ "

"Hey … so I'm a little … out of … shape …"

[SB] "Apple Bloom, exactly how _was_ he helping on the farm?"

[AB] "Hey, he wasn't getting in the way or anything. Mostly, he keeps me company when you two aren't around."

[Sc] "Seriously, Coyotek, you can't just lie on the ground here."

The coyote strains to get back on his feet. "I'll be … fine. Just needed … a few minutes. I'm good now … I think."

[SB] "So why would you need to clear your head, anyway?"

"Well … as it looks like I'll be here for a while, I really need to find something to do with my life."

[AB] "Well that shouldn't be too hard."

[Sc] "Did you forget how long it took us to get _our_ cutie marks?"

[AB] "This isn't about us, Scootaloo."

[SB] "So what _do_ you feel passionate about?"

"Honestly? I have no idea. I'm still adjusting to being here. Haven't had time to think about much more than getting through the day."

[Sc] "You could be anypony … er, any _one_ you want."

"Could I?" …

 _Could I have been, a pastry chef assistant_

 _Could I have been, a soaring pegasus_

 _Could I have been, lost somewhere in Canterlot_

 _Could I have been, Fluttershy's brother_

 _Could I have been, tending carrot gardens_

 _Could I have been, selling gems for lumber_

 _Could I have been, anyone other than me_

 _Could I have been, anyone …_

 _I walk all around town, fur is matted, tongue is dangling_

 _Could I have been a magical raccoon?_

 _Could I have been anyone other than me? Then I …_

 _Look up at the sky, and look around,_

 _and I think, what's my reason for being_

 _what's my reason for dealing_

 _with all that's happening to me …_ [1]

[SB] "… You're no Pinkie Pie."

[Sc] "You're no Cheese Sandwich, either."

[AB] "Maybe you should stick to non-singing monologues."

 _Everyfoal's a critic._

[SB] "Is there anything you _do_ enjoy? I hope it's not singing."

[Sc] "Or bodybuilding."

[AB] "Or workin' on the farm."

[SB] "I guess 'spa' stuff isn't your thing either."

 _I GET IT! So … what_ _ **do**_ _I enjoy …_

"Well … I like puzzles."

[AB] "You mean, like jigsaw puzzles?"

"No, I like logic puzzles."

[Sc] "What's a logic puzzle?"

The coyote ponders for a moment. "OK, here's one. In the distant reaches of Equestria, there are two villages, Unitown and Pegatown."

[AB] "I never heard of those places."

"I'm just making up names for the villages; they're not real. Anyway … the unicorns from Unitown tell the truth and the pegasi from Unitown lie."

[Sc] "I don't lie."

"This is just hypothetical."

[Sc] "Hypo- _what?_ "

"I'm just making it up for the purpose of the puzzle."

[SB] "You're not from Unitown, anyway."

[Sc] "… I guess."

The coyote continues. "Meanwhile, the pegasi from Pegatown tell the truth and the unicorns from Pegasi lie."

[SB] "Hey!"

[Sc] " _You're_ not from Pegasi!"

[SB] "… OK."

[AB] "What about earth ponies?"

"They could tell the truth or lie, but for this puzzle it doesn't matter. Now then: while walking towards their villages, you come across a unicorn and a pegasus. Each comes from one of the two towns."

[Sc] "How do you know they're not just visiting inlaws?"

"For the sake of this puzzle, just assume they're each from one of the two towns."

[AB] "I like visiting my inlaws, though we usually just have 'em over at our place for special occasions."

"In any case: The unicorn says 'Both of us are from the same village,', and the pegasus says 'No, we're not.' Which village does each of them come from?"

[SB] "… That's _it?_ "

"That's it."

[Sc] "So, we're supposed to know which town each of them is from."

"You can _deduce_ it. That's what makes this a logic puzzle."

The three foals go silent for a minute. Then …

[AB] "They're _both_ from Unitown!"

[Sc] "How would you know _that?_ "

[AB] "Since the two contradict each other, one must be lying and the other must be telling the truth."

[SB] "OK, I see that."

[AB] *continuing* "And since one is a unicorn and one is a pegasus, they must be from the same village. If they agreed with each other, they would have to be from different villages."

[Sc] "All right."

[AB] *continuing further* "Since they're from the same town, the unicorn told the truth. That means the unicorn is from Unitown, and so is the pegasus."

"Excellently done, Apple Bloom! You solved it!"

[AB] "That was pretty cool."

[SB] "Pretty simple, too."

"Oh, it can get _much_ harder. It all depends on the puzzle."

[Sc] "Well, it was OK, I guess. Don't think I'd use 'cool' to describe it, though."

[AB] "Hey, look at the time. I got dance lessons soon."

[SB] "I gotta go, too."

[Sc] "See you both at school tomorrow."

The three CMCs go their separate ways, leaving the coyote alone.

 _Well_ _ **that**_ _was a fun diversion. Guess I should get back to the market to help Applejack with the wagons … *oof* … if I can._

The next morning finds the coyote trying his paws at apple bucking … with little success.

[AJ] "Face facts, Coyotek. You just don't have the legs for buckin'."

"Hey, I did get _one_ apple out of the tree. That counts for something, right?"

At a nearby tree, Big MacIntosh bucks a tree and causes three buckets to overflow with apples.

"I know, I know … _'nnnope!'_ "

The brother-sister combo chuckle. _They make it look so dang easy, too._

Apple Bloom comes racing up to them. "Coyotek! You gotta come to the school!"

[AJ] "What's goin' on? Is everything OK?"

[AB] "Miss Cheerilee caught the pony pox. She's gonna be out for a few days. We need a substitute."

 _Wait, she means_ _ **me**_ _?_

"I've never taught before. I wouldn't know where to start. Heck, I'm not even a _pony._ "

[AB] "Miss Cheerilee left plans for in case she got sick."

"But then why me? Why not some other pony?"

[AB] "Everypony else in town's got other stuff to do. Besides, you could share more of those puzzles."

"But … well I guess I could … aren't I needed on the farm?"

[AJ & BM] "Nnnope!"

 _Thanks for the vote of confidence._

"I guess I can try. Lead the way."

…

Minutes later, Apple Bloom and the coyote are at the school. A number of other foals are standing around the entrance.

[AB] "Everypony, I found us a substitute for Miss Cheerilee. At least until she gets better."

The other foals murmur to each other in confusion. Soon, a purple filly speaks up.

[DT] " _He's_ going to be our teacher? He's not even a _pony!_ "

"Well-spotted, miss …"

[DT] "Diamond Tiara. So what _are_ you then?"

"Biologically, I'm a coyote. In truth, I'm new to this town. And for today anyway, I'm your teacher."

[SB] "So now what do we do?"

 _Good question … what would Cheerilee do in my position …_

"Let's start with a little 'arts and crafts' project …"

The chiming of the bell signifies the end of the school day, but an unexpected visitor shows up before anypony is able to leave. The crowd of foals shouts in unison: "MISS CHEERILEE!"

[Ch] "I see you still had class today. That's wonderful."

[AB] "Miss Cheerilee, we have a surprise for you."

The class motions to a corner of the classroom, where a large 'Get Well Soon' poster adorned with lace, glitter, and many small hoofprints sits for the recipient.

[Ch] "Why, this is _incredible!_ Thank you all so very much!"

Most of the class files out, but not before giving their regular teacher a big hug. Soon, all that remain in the room are Cheerilee, the CMCs, and the substitute for the day.

[SB] "So how are you feeling, Miss Cheerilee?"

[Ch] "Much better now. It wasn't the pony pox after all, just a mild cold. I should be fine for tomorrow."

Cheerilee turns to the coyote. "I'm sorry, I don't think we've met."

"My name is Coyotek. I moved here about a week ago. Apple Bloom suggested I fill in for you today."

[Ch] "Well from what I've seen, it looks like she chose well."

"Well, to be fair, we really spent most of the day on the poster. And the rest of the time was spent with me giving puzzles to the class."

[Ch] "Puzzles?"

[Sc] "They're logic puzzles. They're a little weird, but they really make you think."

[SB] "Yeah, I kinda like them, even if I don't get all the answers right."

[AB] " _I_ got all the answers right."

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle give Apple Bloom a disapproving glare for a moment.

[Ch] "Well it sounds like you really struck a chord with the little ponies. Perhaps you'd like to pop in from time to time with more of these puzzles."

"Uh, sure, sounds great. It'll keep me busy while I figure out how to make my presence known around here."

[AB] "Looks to me like you already have."

Huh. Maybe she's right about that.

[Ch] "So, could you give _me_ an example of one of these 'logic puzzles'?"

"Yeah, I'd love to. So anyway: In the distant reaches of Equestria, there are two villages, Unitown and Pegatown."

[Sc] "You really have to come up with better names for villages."

 _Hey, it's a work in progress!_

"Anyway, the unicorns from Unitown tell the truth and the pegasi from Unitown lie. Meanwhile in Pegatown …"

[1]: Parody of "Dancing Nancies", by the Dave Matthews Band


End file.
